Franklin's Bad Day

Normally Franklin loves to play outside in the winter, but today was different. He woke up grumpy and everything just seemed to go wrong. Franklin's friend Otter moved away yesterday.

In our international life we are all arrivers, stayers and leavers at some point or another, but my life and the lives of my children have been more often categorized as stayers. The goodbyes are a regular part of our lives, but not so much the exciting new adventures in a new place. More the reality of figuring out life once a friend is gone. Franklin's story brings light to that experience of the anger and sadness we and our children can feel when a friend moves away.

The beautiful thing in the end of this story is that Franklin's dad acknowledges his loss, affirms him and comforts him. He then helps him think about how he can stay friends with Otter. Franklin decides to make a scrapbook for Otter of their friendship and puts in a bunch of addressed envelopes so that Otter can write back.

In the years I have worked with students this is often the conversation I have with students who are staying behind: "How are you going to stay in touch?"

For us as parents our role in helping our children stay in contact with those that are important to them can be difficult.

What if they change phone numbers in the new country?

What if we send messages and never hear anything back?

But the deeper question we need to wrestle with is: what if my child comes to believe that all relationships end, that none last?

This is what I wrestle with and I want to help my children to learn that long-term relationships can exist. Helping our kids make a plan for how to stay connected can really make the difference for what they believe about human relationships. TCK Training has very helpful research on ACES (Adverse Childhood Experiences) and how we as parents can implement PCES (Positive Childhood Eexperiences) to support them in the challenges of international life. Check these out and see what you can be doing to support your child.

Find it on Amazon.

Ask

• Franklin doesn't want to eat breakfast and he doesn't want to play with his friends. It seems to him that everything happening in his day is bad. Have you ever felt this way? Share about a time you felt this way.
• Sometimes when we are sad it can come out as angry. What helped Franklin move from feeling angry to sharing his sadness?
• Have you ever had a friend move away? What did it feel like for you after they were gone?

Activity

Franklin makes a scrapbook for his friend Otter with pictures of them together and drawings. He then adds envelopes so she can send him letters too. Make a scrapbook/write a letter/send a message to a friend that is moving away soon or has already moved away. Work with your child or their teacher on how to get in contact with those that might be difficult to reach. If there is a friend that your child is unable to get in touch with, what pictures can you print or letters can they write that will help them say what they would have wanted to say to their friend?