Alexander, Who’s Not (Do you hear me? I mean it!) Going to Move

It had been a very long time since I had been read to and probably an even longer time since I had been read a children's story. We were seated in the freezing cold auditorium. A large group of adults, young and old, who were either preparing to go teach internationally or had already been teaching for a year or so. Our speaker that day brought out the book Alexander, Who’s Not (Do you hear me? I mean it!) Going to Move by Judith Viorst and began to read.

Growing up I had definitely read Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. I knew about his family and his annoying big brothers. I related to his frustrations. But I had never known that he moved.

I have very young memories of moving. I don't remember packing up my stuff or saying goodbyes, but I do remember the different houses. The way they looked on the outside, the carpet, the fence I cut myself on while trying to sneak through to the our friend's house. But I don't remember goodbyes. I think maybe there weren't any.

As the speaker began to read Alexander's story to this group of adults I felt a change in the room. People perked up to listen. They laughed at the funny parts. They also began to cry.

Alexander's dad has to move for his job and the whole family is packing, but he's not packing. He's not going to move. Alexander begins to think about all the places he will miss and the people who won't be with him in the new place. His parents talk to him about how it might take a while to make new friends or find a new babysitter, but that they will. Alexander begins to say goodbye to his friends and then he starts packing.

Find the book on Amazon.

Read

Reading this story with your child might be hard to get through without tears, especially if it brings up memories for you and your own experiences moving. Welcome these tears. They let your child know that it's ok to be sad about moving. This is a perfect time to share your own feelings about moving and ask your child how they are feeling. You can use a feelings chart (one of my favorites) to help your child identify their feelings by looking at the faces. You might even want to notice the ways his big brothers try to minimize Alexander's feelings. Why might the big brothers be treating Alexander this way? What feelings might the big brothers be having?

Ask

• Which picture in the story draws your attention?
• What words in the story do you remember (feel or relate to)?
• What places will you miss?
• Which people will you miss?
• Who do you want to say goodbye to?

Activities

RAFT: Alexander's story is also a good example to follow as you help your child RAFT.

Re-read the story and focus on how Alexander goes through the RAFT steps. Ask your child if they can point out where those steps are in the book. You can then pause at each step and help your child go through the corresponding step.

• Reconciliation: Who do you need to forgive? Who do you need to ask for forgiveness?
• Affirmation: Who do you need to tell how important they are to you or what they mean to you?
• Farewell: What people, places, pets and things do you need to say goodbye to?
• Think Destination: What exists in the new place? What does not exist in the new place? (Look at Google street view maps, find out about sports/activities that exist in the new place that your child does where you are now, what foods will/won't be in the new place).

Once you have all of this down on paper, help your child make a plan by getting out a calendar and setting up times for preparing notes, having sleepovers/play dates, giving things away, last visits to special places)

Free write

“If you found out today that you were moving 1000 miles away, think about the special people and places you’d be leaving behind.”

Think of and make a list of as many people and places as you can. Circle 3 things on the list that are powerful for you and that bring an image to your mind. Write about one or more of those things. If your child is too young to write, have them draw one of the things that comes to mind.

Draw

Pick your favorite scene from the book and draw it. It doesn’t need to at all be the same as the book, you could put yourself in the scene. Try to show how the characters are feeling using their expressions.